Dryxanne’s Confessions

Day one…day one…

Start over again.

Step one…step one…

I’m barely making sense just yet,

I’m faking it til I’m pseudo-making it.

From scratch begin again…

But this time I as I,

And not as We.

I must be one of the most pathetic persons in the world.

Or should it be, one of the most deserved to be having pity on?

It’s very much whining, I know. But imagine that on this sunny bright sunday afternoon, what am I doing?

Working at my office. Not really doing works, actually, if I am then I won’t be typing this, will I? But it’s doing part of my "moral" responsibility, guiding and supervising a new junior colleague. Thus, I have to stay until at least most percentage of the work is done, so I can go home with ease and relief.

That, apparently, is not the only thing that makes me pathetic.

Apparently, I realized with bitter, I am pitying myself for some things that I do which I shouldn’t do. Like being angry and sad at the sametime because apparently people do change, or they do lie, or they do things different than what they say they will, and might have millions of reasons to justify it. And I will be such a bitch to question their integrity, which they might say I don’t even have such right to question in the first place.

And why should I be so sad and angry anyway? I shouldn’t be. I should brace myself and tell myself that some people are unbelievable. You trust them, although it doesn’t matter to them that you do, and you cry over them when they go and break your heart or hurt your feelings, without even realizing or giving a damn about it.

And I’m being such a pathetic person by still not getting over things that are supposed to be forgotten and left in past. So pathetic because when I look around, it seems I’m the only one left in this field, nothing else but despair.

And I hate myself for being so weak.

…Batik should be so darn expensive..!!

I mean, just because it’s the IT DRESS now, just because Dian Sastro wore it thus made it so popular for youngsters, and other "just becauses", it doesn’t mean that batik has to be so expensive.

C’mon…2 months ago, batik was not even worn, or seen, publicly everywhere like it is today. And these days, everybody, females especially, seems to be in the race of showing-off wearing batik. While TELKOM, and some other public service governmental departments, already makes it official to wear batik on Fridays.

It seems like, Indonesians are such fashion victims, such easy targets. I doubt that in like 3 or 4 months, batik will still be as popular as it is now. If we want to preserve batik, or make it into our common wear, or national pride, then where the hell have we been since decades ago? Why now?

It’s not that I don’t like batik. Or that I don’t appreciate it. No, I like it alright, I love the design, I like the cool soft feeling when I wore it for daily or for nightie. It’s just that, being so popular now and commercialized, make it enough reasons for all those sellers to put ridiculous price just because "It’s a happening style right now!".

Which make it, ridiculously unaffordable for people like me!

I mean, ok there may be a lot of other batik stuff out there with reasonable price, but why it has to be IDR 11.5 Million for a piece of floor-length batik gown? Yup, you didn’t read it wrong. It is IDR 11.500.000, and you can find it in ALLURE boutique at Senayan City.

Talking about taking chances, eh?

Ok, I did find several nice pieces of batik in Taman Anggrek Mall in a boutique called MONACO (girls, you should check it out…), with reasonable prices (ranging between IDR 145 K - 250 K). But alas, my too big upper arms couldn’t fit well into the short sleeves, although the body part was very loose…So I had to kiss bye-bye to the nice golden colored red printed batik top.

Anyway…

I would love to find a knee-length light batik gown for a daily office wear, with a reasonable price, and sleeves that fit my huge arms. Maybe I should check out all those ITCs…

*Sigh…*

A friend updated me this morning about the earth quake yesterday in Sichuan, China. I was surprised, and being the ignorant, frankly I didn’t know at all, since I don’t read news that much anyway lately.

So I googled a bit, and stumbled upon New York Times online article ( I lost the link so I won’t link it here), which I should have had in my Yahoo Inbox if only I bothered to check my Yahoo Mails, because I did subscribe to New York Times headlines.

It also stated that, the quake struck near Wenchuan County, home to the Wolong Nature Reserve, the largest panda reserve in China.

Now, I’m not being less humanist or something, but when nature disasters happen, surely humans will be the 1st priority to be saved. Sadly, that leaves (often) animals to be the last priority.

And since I haven’t got any updated news on the Wolong, I just hope that those pandas weren’t harmed badly by the disaster. It’s sad enough to learn that their existence is facing near extinction already, this kind of nature disaster would probably put their numbers lesser. I really hope they’re doing fine there in Wolong.

And of course, all prays go to families of the victims and for the survivors to hang on until the rescues get them out of the collapsed buildings…

You know about Friendster’s feature, Daily Horoscope, right?

I subscribed to it just for fun. I never really believed such kind of thing, and I tell myself to not ever believe it, since I consider it’s a wrong thing to do, religiously, to believe in any predictions or fortune-telling.

But sometimes, I found that the horoscope’s telling some words that happen to be fitting with what I’m doing daily. Or some conditions fit the word. Like what I just read, it told me to try finding ways to speed up and find efficient ways to manage my work, so that I can have more time to socialize in the coming few days.

Well, I have emptied my schedules until this weekend, due to my work now that will surely take my whole weekend. So, it’s not that I have any social appointments to be considered this weekend. Still, some words are true regarding managing my works and speed up the output.

The truth is, I’m getting scared that I might start to believe this horoscope. And by starting to believe it, I’m consciously plunging myself into some sinful act, that I’ve been trying to avoid all these times.

I think the solution is so easy.

I need to stop subscribing to Friendster’s Daily Horoscope, starting NOW.

Bulan lalu, kenaikan gaji baru saja diumumkan, dan tentu saja dirapel dari Januari. Wah ini kabar gembira dong, begitulah…

Lalu, logikanya, kalau pengeluaran tetap stabil, harga2 yg naik tidak signifikan, harusnya nominal utk disisihkan utk tabungan menaik dong?

Ternyata tidak tuh.

Dan itulah komplain dari Bapakku, sejak lebih dari setahun yg lalu, pada saat dia tahu kenaikan gajiku yg pertama (sampai sekarang aku sudah mengalami 3x kenaikan gaji).

Heran ya? Ga lah, karena aku tidak punya rekening kedua di Jakarta ini - well, sudah kucoba mengurusnya tp aturannya terlalu ribet, musti minta surat keterangan tempat tinggal segala pdhl aku kan anak kos yg berpindah2 - jadi aku menabung dng cara mentransfer ke Bapakku setiap bulan dan meminta tolong disimpankan (karena Bapakku punya beberapa rekening berbeda). Yah kerugiannya cuma aku tidak mendapat bunga dari banknya. Tapi seberapalah bunga bank sekarang? Kalaupun ada, kuberikan saja ke Bapakku, anggaplah aku sedang berbakti hehe…

Jadi, Bapakku yg rajin memantau (dan mengingatkan setiap tanggal gajian) kegiatan menabungku, sering berkomentar (atau mengkomplain?) kenapa nominal angka yg kutransfer tidak berubah walaupun aku sudah naik gaji beberapa kali, yg artinya persentasenya makin menurun dibandingkan dng total angka penghasilan bulanan. Well, aku tidak punya jawabannya. Pernah sih kupikir2, mungkin karena pengeluaranku yg makin menggila? Ga juga ah…*pembelaan diri seorang shopaholic*

Atau mungkin karena aku harus mensupport kuliah dan biaya hidup adikku di Jakarta? Mungkin juga. Ditambah dng kegiatan akhir pekan (nonton, makan dll) yg kadangkala menghabiskan beberapa kali lipat dari jatah harian. Belum lagi kalau ada sale2 dimana2….fiuuhhh…

Entahlah.

Yg jelas, aku belum pernah membeli barang2 mahal, spt alat2 elektronik yg mahal atau canggih. Paling mahal rasanya cuma TV, itupun harganya hanya 2.3 juta Rupiah, yg mana kucicil 6x jg dng BCA haha…Dan baru pertimbangan, aku mau membeli kamera digital yg pantas, yg harganya mungkin 3-4 jutaan ya. Tapi baru wacana hihihi…

Oh ya, ada pengeluaran yg cukup besar baru2 ini, yaitu utk membereskan gigiku, tapi it’s another story.

Jadi, gimana ya caranya utk menaikkan persentase yg kusisihkan utk tabungan? Menurunkan pengeluaran harian? Mencari kos yg lebih murah? Menahan diri utk tidak berbelanja tas dan sepatu dan pakaian? Entahlah. Bukan alasan yg baik memang, tapi aku sering beralasan, well setidaknya aku sudah bisa menabung sekarang, dibanding 2 tahun yg lalu saat aku benar2 pas2an dan tidak punya tabungan sama sekali. Saat itu, kalau terjadi sesuatu padaku yg membutuhkan uang dlm jumlah besar, well, kiamatlah aku. Istilahnya, tunggu mati aja…

Btw, barusan seorang teman kantor memberitahu kalau setahu dia, persentase pembagian penghasilan bulanan yg baik adalah : 30-30-30-10. Yaitu 30% utk kebutuhan sehari2/kebutuhan tetap, 30% utk tabungan, 30% utk lain2 (asuransi, investasi, cicilan dsb), dan 10% utk dana cadangan utk keperluan mendadak.

Yah memang pembagian itu tidak saklek, artinya bisa sedikit berubah2 tergantung masing2 individu. Namun disarankan kalau setidaknya bisa menabung 20% dari penghasilan bulanan.

Tapi kok aku masih tidak puas ya, walaupun aku sudah bisa menabung sekitar 35% dari penghasilan bulanan? Rasanya aku merasa bersalah sudah menghabiskan banyak uang tiap bulan utk keperluan yg tidak seberapa penting, padahal kalau sedikit menahan diri, aku bisa saja menabung 40% atau bahkan 50% dari penghasilanku.

Kan kalau aku bisa konsisten menabung 50% tiap bulannya, aku mungkin sudah bisa men-DP sebuah Honda Jazz merah idamanku itu…huhuhu…

Taken from Yahoo’s Dating Tips, here are few tips for you guys out there

Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing, even if you are not sure what you are going to say:

1.Walk with confidence.

When you see a woman that you are attracted to, walk right over. Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence. Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and not slumped over. Keep eye contact as you approach. Do not hesitate. Most men linger in the background before they approach, then, when you finally do approach, she is quick to turn her back on you. The reason is that you did not exude confidence. Most women notice who is observing them. When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her,you might as well go home.

2.Lose the male pack.

When out on the town, avoid being seen with the drunken testosterone pack of males. One of the biggest turn-offs for women is the "male pack" — you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other, drinking and checking out other women. When you approach a woman with your buddies waiting on the sideline, she will impulsively reject you in front of the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. Break away from the male pack and find one other guy to go out on the town with. Save the male bonding for a sports bar.

3. Dress for a strong appearance.

Make sure you’re not sabotaging your efforts with your attire. If you look like a slob, it will not matter what your body language says, because you will look like every other man who put no thought into what he was going to wear that night to attract women. Buy clothing that makes you stand out from the rest of the men. Find a cool pair of jeans and some great shirts that give you an edge, so when you walk in with the right body language, women will see you. Keep in mind that shoes are really important too, so find a few pairs that look great on you.

4.Create a spark within her.

Most men’s conversation will center on being agreeable and non-confrontational in the hopes that she likes you.In the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring! You need to spark her interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into a conversation about summer movies and she says that "Spiderman III" was her favorite Spidey movie so far. Instead of being agreeable,
look her right in the eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong — the first Spiderman was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will create a fun, friendly, flirtatious verbal sparring, which will create a spark in her brain. She will realize that you are not a pushover like most men and attraction will start to form in her head.

5. Maintain some tension.

Flirting with women is all about gathering information, so the better listener you are, the better your chances. When you call her, you will have more things to talk about. Before calling a woman, I think about everything she said and then I pick the most juicy topic or opinion and challenge her with it. For example, going back to the example of "Spiderman III," I would text her the next day: "I was thinking U + I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R so wrong. Name the time + place + I’ll bring the DVD."
She will immediately respond to the challenge and text you back. You have just learned the secret of re-creating the tension that you shared with her. Plus, you are being totally unlike every other guy who waits three days to call her and schedule a predictable dinner date.

I’M SO DAMN ANGRY..!!!

Today, is the 2nd time my reviews failed to be uploaded!

Few days ago, I made a review after watching "I AM LEGEND" on dvd, and then after writing a short review - usually I write by mood, so I could end up with some pretty words - it just failed me when I uploaded it. DARN…!!!

And today, it just happened again!

I just wrote review for STREET KINGS, latest movie of Keanu Reeves, and when I finished and clicked the submit, it just came up with "INVALID REVIEW FORM".

What the hell it’s supposed to mean? I used the invalid form? Well then WHO’S FAULT IS THAT THAT THE STUPID F*CKING INVALID FORM IS STILL THERE TO BE USED? HAH???

I’m soooo pissed off…!!!

Woohooo…

Finally…!

My Kang Nunu is back on the silver screen!

This time he will appear in a movie called STREET KINGS.

And last saturday, my bro told me that it’s already played here in Jakarta. Boy…I’m so excited and I think I’m gonna hit the nearest 21 to see my fave guy whom I’ve missed for such a long time already…

See ya all in the studio…!

Additional Notes :

This is my 200th post in this Friendster Blog!

And I do have another blog here.

Oh, and actually I also missed Kang Nunu’s latest movie before STREET KINGS, that is A Scanner Darkly. Darn…I should’ve bought the DVD back then in Bandung’s Kota Kembang…

Last Saturday, as I was sitting inside a cafe, waiting for my orders to come, I kept myself busy with a free movie magazine, called "TRAILER". The edition I was reading, was talking (almost) all about movies that were originated from comic books, or graphic novels.

Among some that were mentioned specially, were IRON MAN, X-MEN ORIGINS : WOLVERINE, and also THE DARK KNIGHT.  And there was a page of picture portraying a bunch of the comic heroes all standing together. I can only recognize Wolverine and some other characters I can’t remember now. Just a few among the bunch.

That moment, was one moment, of so many other moments, where I would feel very sad, knowing that I didn’t have anyone there who knew enough of those comic superheroes to discuss them with me, enthusiastically. A moment where inevitably and helplessly, I’d instantly think of him. Whom I’m sure would know most of the characters portrayed in the picture, whom I’m sure would know the stories of those characters, whom I’m sure would be very enthusiastic and excited and anticipating of the coming comic superheroes movies.

That was one moment where I hoped, and by doing that I felt guilty, that the one sitting there with me was him. So that I could ask him who’s this and who’s that and what’s this hero’s got to do with that one and why that hero’s become what that hero is. So that I didn’t feel so silly being so excited that HELLBOY 2 will be soon released. So that I could ask him to refresh my memory of who’s IRON MAN and when the cartoon series was played in tv and how the story ended.

You might think that it’s so simple and selfish, the reasons why I hoped he was there with me. But isn’t that the simple reason that keep people being together with the ones they care about? Because they want to stay together with people who share the same interests with them, who know what they think about and what they talk about, who’d laugh at the same things that might be funny only to them.

Sadly, except for my younger brother, now I don’t have someone who is probably as excited as I am now, waiting for the release of all those comic superheroes movies. Someone who can remind me of how fun it was being a kid with all those imaginations of being able to fly, or crawling on the wall and spraying all those webs and swing around tall buildings, or emerging Adamantium claws from your hands, or being invisible, or riding around in the cool Batmobile, or turning into anyone and anything you want to be, or reading other people’s thoughts, or moving objects with your mind, or calling the thunders and storms at your will, or teleporting in split second, or blazing red destroying lights from your eyes, or being big, red, ugly, devilish, unwanted in both worlds, but keeping faith to do good not evil. Someone who knows who STAN LEE is, who MICHAEL BAY is, who AVI ARAD is, why OPTIMUS PRIME is so cool, and KURT WAGNER is NIGHTCRAWLER and he’s German by the way, and SUE STORM is not STORM in X-MEN.

Not anymore, I guess.