Dryxanne’s Confessions

im writing this coz a friend of mine is getting married in near time…also i just finished these few days rushing around to find appropriate dress for her wedding (not yet found, im dead…) and for my brother’s wedding in few months coming (already got the dress, thanks God…)

it always comes to this classical question when you come to a wedding reception, or u meet old friends who already got married, when is your turn? and with the activities last week to prepare some things for my brother’s wedding, i was kinda asked by my parents, of course with hidden question, that they hope i would soon find my partner and get married…

as if getting married is as easy as picking the right shoes…in fact picking right shoes for me can be difficult and frustrating too, in case you havent even felt it..! As if getting married is an obligation, not only to yourself but also parents’ obligations to their children (as admitted by my parents, they feel unrelieved knowing their daughter has not found her last harbor)

few days ago, i read a colleague’s blog, in which she wrote about getting married is a choice, not an achievement. I agree very much to the statement. When you get married, it should be becoz of choice, becoz u love the person so much you want to spend the rest of your life with this one. Not becoz of any obligation, unless u have some "accident". But i dont see that nowadays. People just rush to get married, as if being married is a pride. It can be to some people perhaps, but i personally wouldnt think so.

I even see some people rushing to find partners, just so they can get married. Where’s the sense in that? Do you get married becoz you have a partner, or you have a partner just to get married? Some think of the age, especially women. I have to say the biological clock of women is hard to beat, but lets not make it a stupid dull reason to get married.

Im not saying i wont get married, or im against the idea of being in a marital institution. Im in need of a partner too, which is why i think i wont get married out of so-called social beliefs of society. I would get married becoz i need partner to share my life, someone to share my days, someone i love, that loves me back, and would share his life with me too. That someone who would find the best in me, and makes me bring out the best in him too. Which is why, if u just go n find a partner that is only sexually or in appearance attractive, which i dont say it is bad actually but lets not make it main reasons, you would end up dissapointed. Worse if one day you find others more attractive than your partners, then u’ll end up cheating and blame it on the lacks of your partners (then why u married him/her in the first place, if u know he/she’s not that perfect??)

i’ve seen samples of marriages, good or bad, those that seem perfect but rotten inside, or those seem full of fights everyday but the couples actually love each other to death…When they said those wedding vows, they promised each other that they would be loving, caring, helping and cheering til death do them part…but those vows lasted like 10 or 15 years if they are lucky. Then the loving becomes anger, caring and helping becomes ignorance, and cheering becomes unnecessary. If kids around would help sometimes, not that it would be most help, but if not, considered the marriage is finished. All these things freak me out whether i would actually find a good guy…who would stay with me til death do us part, and not cheating in between….

to be continued…