Being a Woman in Despair
November 7, 2007 by dryxanne
You think there’s something wrong, and people say you’re being too sensitive. Eventhough when later on what you thought was wrong, proven true.
You get angry (a bit too) easily, and people ask whether you’re having your PMS, or your period. As if you are not allowed to be temperamental, albeit temperamental is not a good trait.
You act (a bit too) friendly, and some guys think you’re giving chances. You act (a bit too) cold, they think you’re playing hard to get, or worse, being full of pride.
You talk (a bit too) much, and you’re called talkative. You talk lesser than usual, and they wonder whether you are feeling well today.
You work hard to support yourself, they call you a proud career-woman-to-be. You work like you’ll live a thousand years, they say, well, all you’ve got to do is to find a husband anyway…
You try to ask and share your partner’s burden, they shut up and ask you to mind your own business. You shut up and act as if you don’t care, they complain and say you don’t care anymore.
You feel something’s wrong, and try your best to work it out, but all you do just fail. You ask to find a way out, but silence is all you get.
There is just no middle way. No negotiation. No discussion. No grey areas. No written directions.
No, life wouldn’t be that easy, would it? If God provided you with a manual, a written guidance, a how to use and what to do, then where’s the fun in life?
No, it has to be the difficult, complicated, suffering, learning, full of lessons way.
But what should you do, when you think you have learned well, when you think you’ve got the point, on how others treat you and what they mean by that treatment, and then people say, don’t think too much, don’t analyze too much, things are perhaps less complicated and less difficult than what you think they are?
Well, perhaps I should thank them for their advices and do what they say?
Or should I tell them to get lost and f*ck off with their advices that wouldn’t work anyway?
Because some things are impossible to be perceived in a wrong way, and some points are too clear to see, left unsaid.
And perhaps I’m being a fool (trying to pretend) not seeing them laying perfectly in front of me.
