One of the Most
May 25, 2008 by dryxanne
I must be one of the most pathetic persons in the world.
Or should it be, one of the most deserved to be having pity on?
It’s very much whining, I know. But imagine that on this sunny bright sunday afternoon, what am I doing?
Working at my office. Not really doing works, actually, if I am then I won’t be typing this, will I? But it’s doing part of my "moral" responsibility, guiding and supervising a new junior colleague. Thus, I have to stay until at least most percentage of the work is done, so I can go home with ease and relief.
That, apparently, is not the only thing that makes me pathetic.
Apparently, I realized with bitter, I am pitying myself for some things that I do which I shouldn’t do. Like being angry and sad at the sametime because apparently people do change, or they do lie, or they do things different than what they say they will, and might have millions of reasons to justify it. And I will be such a bitch to question their integrity, which they might say I don’t even have such right to question in the first place.
And why should I be so sad and angry anyway? I shouldn’t be. I should brace myself and tell myself that some people are unbelievable. You trust them, although it doesn’t matter to them that you do, and you cry over them when they go and break your heart or hurt your feelings, without even realizing or giving a damn about it.
And I’m being such a pathetic person by still not getting over things that are supposed to be forgotten and left in past. So pathetic because when I look around, it seems I’m the only one left in this field, nothing else but despair.
And I hate myself for being so weak.
